One factor that has a major impact on personal development success is the ability to ask for help when we need it. I understand this personal development concept, but struggle sometimes with its application (as do many), because I have a tendency to associate “asking for help” with weakness. For whatever reason, I have always felt a sense of shame if I can’t do something on my own.
What’s interesting, though, is that when I’m helping someone, I don’t view them as weak or shameful at all. The thought doesn’t even enter my mind as I’m much too busy enjoying the opportunity to help.
Have you ever experienced the same feelings?
When I quit smoking four years ago, I really began to grow personally in this area. I had to learn how to open up to people and acknowledge my inability to do it alone. I tried to quit numerous times before, and failed, but this time I did something different; I asked for help. The support and encouragement I received from family and friends – that little bit of extra help they provided when I was struggling, made all the difference for me.
Today I’m more honest with myself about when I need help. If I’m uncertain about an idea, I ask for feedback. If I’m trying something new, I ask for advice. If I’m feeling down or upset, I ask for support. And I’m always amazed at how much people enjoy helping (though I shouldn’t be amazed because, after all, most of us are that way).
As a result, I’ve developed a healthier “attitude of gratitude”. I’m more of a complete person, less afraid to admit vulnerability, more effective at work and home, and ultimately more successful. I’ve let go of those feelings of weakness and shame, understanding that those were not reality, but merely my perception based on some negative, childhood programming no doubt.
If you’ve been struggling with an issue and feeling a little ashamed at not being able to handle it on your own, remember that the shame is your perception. Try opening up and communicating your need for help. I think you’ll be surprised at how eager people will be to give you a hand.
If you find yourself needing additional help and don’t know who to turn to, remember I am more than willing to help you! Contact me!
Strive to be more!
Coach Morse
Great comment, Coach!
I\’m struggling with redeveloping / redefining my business, or applying for full-time positions, and am sending out emails for coffees with people.
Very hard to do at times as I don\’t to seem like I\’m begging. However, I do find the chats very useful; and like you said, people do want to help. Tom
A breakthrough is sure to come if you keep putting yourself out there and making those contacts…
Don’t stop!